She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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