It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
