ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
