1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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