he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize