i love accidental penises.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
