I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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