apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
