This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
