Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
