But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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