so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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