I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
