Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
