I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
mondays should just be called national damage control day
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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