It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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