Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
