I just threw up on my dentist
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
