dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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