I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
