im six kinds of drunk right now
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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