I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
