Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
