shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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