My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize