I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
as a side note pls kill me
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
