Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I need to sanitize my soul.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
