tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
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