All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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