By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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