every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
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