I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Vodka?
Forever.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
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