I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Randomize
