Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
