dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
