I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
is it fun? or sober?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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