That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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