He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize