mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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