U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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