This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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