that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He kissed a someone with a penis
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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