wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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