He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
