Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
