Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
