They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
