better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize