It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
