There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize