I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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