I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize
