i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
