Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
