whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
