he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
