just come out here and I will go home with you...
babies were throwing up all over the place
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
a search helicopter?!
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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