Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
