a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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