I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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