I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
