i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
