quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
