Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
