i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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