are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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