The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
